i am so lazy with titles

so you want to be a rock star?
seems kind of an unusual starting place fro philosophical thought, but hey, who says louis xiv can't be thoughtful?
i figure the best place to start is always from most recent emotional experiences and that show was definetly it, besides, i think it has some merit...
what is it about musicians, the concert, and the musician-fan relationship?
perhaps this should be expanded to all art, considering that people simply have diffrent attatchments to diffrent mediums and mine happens to be music
thus, i restate: what is it about the artist and the affect the artist has on the art-appreciator?
why is it that we (i) find the art and it's meaning to us (me) inseperable from the actual person?
this is absurd, no?
i mean they just create, we apply our own interpretation and then poof! how does what it mean to us apply to them? they're just the messenger... so why can't i get this through my thick skull
these people are egotistical charasmatic muse-hogs who unknowingly hit people with sometimes paralyzing (almost 4 days now) 16-wheelers of emotion and i still put them on a pedastle
why is the musical (artistic) experience so personal and intense? and why is it that when the artist interacts with the listener, we think it has something to do with the listener and not the huge flirt of rockstar?
i suppose (not yet willing to admit) that it has something to do with the following mentality: if i was just that interesting/inspiring/attractive/"cool"/ insert positive synonym here enough they would dedicate some small portion of their art to me
this is crap, and i know it
but why can't we (i) draw the distinction between the two?
well i have decided that i have to be a part of the process to figure out something that affects me so deeply and is such massive part of what makes me ridiculous, and since this whole fan-artist situation has proved to be destructive (it's terribly depressing) i have vowed to be on the other end of it someday. thus i will rock, and rock hard.
i think this will be an effective way of truly understanding the dynamic, since i have so much experince on the other end
this was more of a theraputic rant than a means to an end, but whatever
thus i end with a quote
"They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts. "